Fuck appropriateness.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
