And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
