O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
