woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We had sex on a dog bed..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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