I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
