well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
