Having a random hookup so left but love u
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
