I got chris browned last night
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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