Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
