Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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