grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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