i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
