i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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