No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Never underestimate the power of titties
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