i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
