You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
