I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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