dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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