You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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