i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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