You work out of a Hotel?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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