Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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