so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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