I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
