This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
