I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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