I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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