When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize