When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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