If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
