I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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