How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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