No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
