My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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