do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
