found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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