Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You have to summon your inner elephant
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
