so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
