I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize