Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize