party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
