I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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