at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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