CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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