Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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