I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
