I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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