epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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