Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
