Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
