it hurts more in the daytime
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize