you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
