please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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