I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
