between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
